“A Letter to My Son About Porn” by Harriet Pawson

Harriet Pawson writes a letter to her son about porn and sex to spare him an uncomfortable face-to-face conversation that may bring.  This is an excerpt from a recent Everyday Feminist article.  The source of the article is: 

http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/02/letter-to-son-about-porn/

“To my darling Son,

I know this is not a conversation any boy wants to have with his mum at any age, so I’m going to let you off the hook. Sort of.

By writing you this letter, I’m going to spare you from having a face-to-face conversation with me about sex. Or more specifically, about porn.

But it’s a conversation we must have nonetheless.

Because I would be failing in my duty as a parent, guide, and woman if I did not share the following information with you –  information that has the power to impact greatly upon your future sex life. And your relationships.

So listen carefully. This is important.

First of all, I know you’ve watched porn. Probably a lot of it. I struggled with this at first. Nobody wants to imagine their child watching strangers having crazy sex.

But I’ve come to accept that the world is different now, and from the moment we gave you access to a smartphone and your own computer, it was inevitable that you’d see porn.

This makes me sad, but not for the reason you might think.

There’s nothing wrong with sex, and there’s nothing wrong with being interested in it. For me, this is not a moral question.

I’m upset because I think that watching porn has the potential to affect your own sexual experiences in a really negative way.

And it’s not just me.

This is a proven fact. Men who watch a lot of porn have trouble enjoying real sex with real women.

And I don’t want you to be that guy – not for yourself and not for your partners.

I truly wish you and your generation could have been free to embark on your sex lives without all the hardcore, soulless, sexist imagery of porn.

I wish you could all have had the chance to explore it organically, with all the surprises, the thrills, and even the spills. Without expectations or preconceptions.

That’s the way it used to be, back in ye olden days.

For us, sex was a wonderful, sometimes awkward experience of discovery. Lots of fumbling and bumbling and working it out as you went along.

Today though, by the time you and your friends have sex, you’ll almost certainly have seen hundreds of hours of porn stars going at it in many, many different ways.

This will be the visual wallpaper in your mind as you explore your own sexuality, and that’s truly unfortunate.

I understand that the porn genie can’t be put back in the bottle. Your generation is a product of our time, and you’re all in the same boat. So I guess you’ll all figure it out.

However, there are a few important things you need to know.

I don’t think anyone else is going to tell you these things, so here they are. Remember them.”

This is a significantly shortened excerpt. To read the full article, please visit the Everyday Feminism website. http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/02/letter-to-son-about-porn/